Eating Twinkies!

We all have done this many times I am sure! It is the best way to eat Twinkies! What is your favorite way to eat Twinkies! 

A Girl Potato and Boy Potato!

A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, 

And finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they 
called "Yam." 

Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. 

When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. 

They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't 
get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' 
and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots. 

Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a 
rotten potato out of her! 

But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a 
Couch Potato either. 

She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her 
Shoestring Cousins. 

When she went off to Europe , Mr. And Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch 
out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland, and the greasy guys from 
France called the French Fries. 

And when she went out West, to watch out for the Indians so she 
wouldn't get scalloped. 

Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't 
associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the 
other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks 
that say, "Frito Lay." 

Mr. And Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University ) 
so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips. 

But in spite of all they did for her, one day Yam came home and 
announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw. 

Tom Brokaw! 

Mr And Mrs. Potato were very upset. 

They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because 
he's just....... 

Are you ready for this? 


A COMMONTATER 

The Escapee

A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years.

He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed.

He ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her,

kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife,

“Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a

lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years.

I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain.

Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.

This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both.

Be strong, honey. I love you!”

She responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear.

He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline.

I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.”

The Rabbit and The Dog

So I decided to leave work early. I get home only to see my dog is up to no good. 
My pit bull is laying on the back patio covered in dirt with a rabbit in his mouth. 
The Rabbit's not bloody, just dirty.  Now, my neighbor's kids raise these Blue Ribbon 
WINNER Rabbits. I instantly knew it was one of their rabbits🤦‍♀️. So I took the rabbit 
away from my dog, I rushed inside, washed all the dirt off it before my neighbors could 
come home. It was stiff but I heard some ANIMALS play dead when they are AFRAID, 
I couldn't remember which animals because I was NERVOUS . I took it and placed 
it back in one of the cages that sits on my neighbors back deck, then I ran back home. 
NOT 30 minutes later I hear my neighbors screaming. so I go out and ask them 
what's wrong? 🤫

They tell me their rabbit died three days ago and they buried it but now it's back in the cage.